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Tag Archives: crooklyn

the only effect lebron's EPIC decision will have on me is whether or not I have to start hating a new team.


I wouldn’t put it past Lebron to put all of us through this media frenzy, simply to announce he’s staying with his current team, still the chosen one, still a crier, and still better than kobe.  Joke will be on everyone who cared enough to follow all of the latest “who’s Lebron been talking to/ eating with/ getting dunked on by?” gossip.  I will be happy, because I already hate the Cavs and Ohio, and Cleveland will be happy, because what else would they base their economy on – Kid Cudi?  Bone Thugs??  Don’t think so.


Please.  Please. Please.  Don’t ruin the Knicks for me, Lebron.  Probably should have been a Knicks fan from the start as both my parents are from New York, and the Knicks were the most prominently featured sports team on the two sitcoms that molded me in to who I am today – Friends and Seinfeld

*editors note: so, I forgot that George works for the Yankees and Kramer gets spit on at a baseball game, but there was that excellent ep, where George and Jerry take a limo from the airport that’s not theirs and think they’re getting 4 free tickets to the Knicks game, but end up getting confused for Nazis. Regardless. Joey/Chandler/Ross are always trying to go to the Knicks’ games*

But if it takes a gorgeous, gorgeous black man to sign with the team, for me to start following them, I’m okay with that.  Unless King James brings his oversized-ego, lack of rings, and tears to make me hate them before the season even starts.


If I were making the decisions here, and was being forced to put bron bron on an NBA team, as opposed to, you know, post-term aborting him, I would send Lebron to the Nets.  Why?

a. they’re not good.

b. bandwagon fans are funny to me.

c. they deserve it after having their first pick and john wall snatched by the wizards.

BUT, I’m not making the decisions, and I highly doubt the Russian, although he believes, “Becoming a member of the Nets, who would give James the best opportunity to build a dynasty, become a champion and emerge as a global icon,” or even minority-owner Jay-z, will have the pull to get Lebron to the dirty jers, or is it crooklyn?  I haven’t been paying attention.


dwyane wade, chris bosh, AND lebron james?!  That might be too intense even for Miami, although aaaaparently, the three (plus chris paul) did make a sisterhood-of-the-travelling-pants-esque pact to play together again after the olympics, so, yeah, who knows..

Can the heat afford the three plus any semblance of quality players? Doubtful.  Are NBA games played 3v3? No.


I would only be okay with this if Lebron went in, crab-dribbling and demanding that Jordan’s jersey be un-retired so he could wear number 23 (6 is a stupid  number, sorry patrick ewing).  I think the Bulls could be a good choice for Lebrand.  He’d be the top player on a team that used to have fans.  AND, he’d get to play with one of the best last names in basketball.  WIN, WIN.

mavs, clippers


the resemblance is uncanny, really.

so what are my actual un-biased, no longer based on teams with overly attractive black men, from hometowns of ex-boyfriends, or with rappers with vested interests, prediction of where brawny will end up?

1. punching bitches in the face at the strip club for picking up his money before they’ve finished dancing

2. bulls

3. knicks

4. cavs

5. nets

6. heat

7. mavs

8. clippers


Peace out bitches,


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