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Tag Archives: canadian tuxedo

As most of you know, I’m very fashionable (and this will eventually lead to me spending the rest of my life with my soul mate – purple tie – if we ever find each other again).  I also have some pretty strong opinions with regards to what other people are wearing.  Yeah, I’m extremely hypocritical.
<ASIDE>   I feel like ranting.  I really hate “forced” anything – forced fun, such as theme parks, any type of tour (wine tasting, sight seeing, the fucking zoo), forced friendships, “okay, just because you’re my boyfriend’s sister/ brother’s girlfriend doesn’t mean we’re going to get along.  I mean, come on, a sorostitute/ actually a prostitute, really?!”  Forced holidays, for example, New Year’s Eve and Halloween are two of the biggest let downs, because who really needs an excuse to drink a shit ton of Andre or dress in a slutty outfit and call it a “costume.”  (that being said, New Year’s Eve is still my favorite holiday, I just need to celebrate it multiple times a year).   Getting to the point, and my pet peeve of the day, theme parties – forced dress-up.   I hate these, not at all because I don’t want to dress up, obviously I do, but because I want to dress how I want to dress, not to have to clothe myself while keeping in mind a specific theme my outfit should adhere to (of course the theme parties I will be throwing in the near future, ANTMPBE and jorts and jorties will be fucking awesome, but that doesn’t really apply here).  I think from now on I will dress opposite the pre-designated themes for theme parties, and maybe even attend standard parties/bars/clubs dressed as my own “theme” TBD when I’m wasted. </ASIDE>

And now what all 2-3 of you have been waiting for.  I’ve compiled some dos and don’ts for those of you less (can I use blessed here? yeah, I think I can) blessed in the fashionista department.

DENIM

DO: be from canada

DON'T: be from southwestern virginia

SUNGLASSES

DO: be a bad ass.

DON'T: be a douchebag

GUID

DO: be a snookie

DON'T: be a fat italian

MUSTACHE

DO: obvi.

DON'T: just don't.

BEIBS

DO: be a lesbian that looks like justin bieber

DON'T: be justin bieber

ASIAN BABY

DO: be a faux animal.

DON'T: be something I want to eat.

Peace out bitches,

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